Happening

If a soul is what keeps us alive..
If a heart is what keeps us responding..
If a body is what protects us from hurt..
Why is mine all deteriorating?
Everything that makes me human holds no value anymore..
I’ve gone without feeling.. I’ve became accustomed to ache
Although I still feel that clearly
My body is burning from the inside out..
Is this preparation of results of my thought out actions to attempt?
A week never seemed so long before
I need an X-ray..
I know something is wrong..
I’m just not prepared for the results
To be honest..
My mind is wrapped in caution tape
It’s dangerous
And I promised someone
I’d never relapsed…..
I’m sorry
But you left me..
Willingly..
A month later…
I confirmed he was the man I thought he was..
No good..
Two weeks from that a rock must’ve been swapped with where genuine happiness came from
My veins., struggling to continue a 20 yr routine
The glass that once covered my eyes..
That kept me strong., that kept sadness from rolling down my face..
Evaporated
It burns..
Unmotivated to inhale..
Scary when routine only keeps me alive
Dark room vacant searching for me again..
Whispers of voices telling me my mommy really needs me,.
So I keep my routine..
And When I get tired routine I hope it’s understood.

-Jennifer.Hall

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